I'm going with the flow, if that's what should I do now
I don't know where I am, or what am I inside
Feel like I've found my path but took so many time to ask,
whether it's all belong to me or just a temporary
Life is tough sometimes but
"I'll do it happily, easily,"
I'm facing the truth of being manipulative all the time
Telling everyone I'm ok,
in fact, I'm not
All my dreams should be chased by now
But all my demons screaming that I can't do it
I know I've been away, I've changed from the way I used to be
I just can't do anything about it but
to let all the demons laughing at me, staring at me, never to leave me
I feel worse even more when
He looks at me, smiling at me,
Should've known I'd be like this, falling into place like this
Wanna punch that walls down, free myself at the moment
I bleed too often but no one see a thing
I've been living in a spiral, circle, miserable kind of life
I've been crying my whole life, why wouldn't it get better?
Promise myself that I'll go strong enough to enjoy the pain
But that's thing I ain't no good at
I lie too often to myself, even to Mum and Dad
Should've gone from the first
but I was thirsty of being in love
Should've known at first
but I was so dumb to believe in every words he said
Should've lost the game at first,
but I can't, since I'm winning that game
All I have is just regrets, and tears, and sadness around me
I don't know what to expect now
Hormonal isn't the reason why I got so sad many times
It's just I'm a sad girl who wants a happy life
It's like I never meet dreams in reality
Where everything seems so good in dreams, but never in reality
I'm just a prisoner to my own dream
And never want to know what is my reality...
I'm just a shadow of a girl I used to dream
I'm just a shell of that girl I used to be.
FFF
(May, 28 2020)
0 Komentar