best if they don't know me.

They say, the happiest girl smilest the most

But I don't.

They tell, the saddest girl laughs harder,

And I do.

I'm not even sure who I am.

Or what I am.

Even when they keep telling you,

That I'm the best

But I'm not.

I just can't find my way there

Trying to runaway with all this pain,

Hell, I'm too good for it

When I walk to the room

Everybody stares at me
Laughing while lying in the kindness of strangers

They're best when they don't know me

When I lie myself down tonight,

I can't help to stop thinking that I,

I'm maybe a good liar, the best betrayer

Feeling the worst when they leave me,

and tell myself to stop crying from the deepest sense of sadness

I wish I could switch off of what I'm feeling

But damn it, I couldn't do it

Feeling so high when they're coming

   even though I know I might be their last-ending

It's worse that I can't take the glimpse after the storm coming

But feeling better when I start all over again...

So tell me, tell me what's on me?

Tell me, tell me what's on your mind to think about me?

It's not wrong at all that I might be a coward,

Acting so good while I'm pretending to be one

I ain't no perfect, I ain't no something you think I am

I'm just me, trying to cope with the rough wind coming undone

Just like Carmen to walk in the street so mean,

But feeling so helpless, breathless, and can't stop the joy of the pain. 

FFF

(March, 22 2018)