Memories, it's all left behind.
Clock tickin', it ain't gonna stop
And I'm still here, laying in bed with all thoughts in my head, and here's the question:
Am I gonna be good enough to be a good girl they wish I'd be?
Am I gonna be strong enough to live my beautiful, tragic life?
Now I'm thinking hard.
There are just so many, many real things happen to me.
Sometimes I'm just a girl in a fresh, beautiful rose garden.
But other times...
I'm like the dust in the wind.
So hard to touch, even to seen.
But that's just me, a usually me.
I should wake up and realize that I'm not a cute little girl anymore
I'm even too old to hold a doll
Now I'm surrounded by the real thing, real life,
real happiness, real sadness...
Where some day I might think I still could feel it once again,
But actually...
No, I can't go back turning back time.
Now what's ahead is my future, what past is passed
There's nothing in between.
I think I'm the joke now.
People laugh at me. I laugh at me.
I'm not perfect like the other girl, I'm just a usually me.
I wear clothes, that clothes wouldn't wore the same as the other girls, I'm just a usually me.
I wear shoes, that shoes can give a meaning to my personality, I'm just a usually me.
I make friends with anyone, but none of them are exist, and that's what's fed me up.
I wear makeup only to hide the kind of bleakness which appear on my face, or maybe my vision,
OH! Maybe I'm just a usually me.
Now in this Nonsense 21st ,
I wish nothing but to be happy.
By "happy" means have a great life, with great people around me.
Oh God you maybe know how I feel, and maybe you should probably start to help me now.
Been screaming saying my prayers, holding hands to my chest, closing my eyes, but nothing's change
Oh God you maybe probably know about what to do.
To keep me away from the awfulness, I surely don't want that.
To keep me close to you, in a day or night.
Now, I beg YOU once again that I wish nothing but being loved.
Loved, by someone who loves me for who I am,
Loved, by someone who knows my flaws,
Loved, by someone who'd stand to my addle-patted life.
Now I get it how it's like to grow old.
Nothing's beautiful, everything's a poison.
You do good, and you'd be good.
You do bad, and you'd be bad.
People will judge among your greatest acts.
Oh I wish I knew, I'd never gonna wanna try.
People will look at the bad side, then the bright side.
It's always the same, and no, it never gonna change.
And in this Nonsense 21st,
I can't promise a thing but I'll show you what's worth it.
Talking is cheap, I'll save it for my energy to stand again,
Open my eyes, heart, and ideas to a new perspective.
"It's all gonna be fine," As myself told me from another side.
F.
(June 21st 1995 - Present)
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