the rain this December never feel the same.

I know it's a hard way to live
With the dumb decisions I made
I was younger and I acted so reckless
I said my vow to a man I was in love before
But look at us now..

I felt lonely, it's never easy
I know it ain't easy
Then you came in, telling me how much you wanted me
I could still feel the way it used to be
Leave me fucking breathless
Once I knew, I gave you almost everything you needed,
And started the feeling of love when you said you wouldn't leave me

You knew me so well,
I knew you too well
We fell in love
You caught me right when I needed you
But you know, I never planned on losing you
Never came across my thoughts of losing you
But you left me here feeling blue

And I spent my nights for crying
Thinking how unfair my life can be
Why should I fall in love with you in the worst way?

And I never thought I'll be falling for you this hard
Every day, every night, I recall about our past
Can't let you go out of my thoughts
Can't lower this energy I have for you

Maybe we could love in another life
When everything's right, it will be alright
And with the decision you made,
I guess I have no other way to buy, but to respect 
So painful just to imagine a life without
But I promise myself that one day, I'll be okay,
This storm will be ending soon, and we'll be alright

This is not about wanting to get you back,
Because you wouldn't
And this also isn't about the wish of being together with you
Because you know, we couldn't
But this is about the pain I have to go through,
   for loving you, and missing you my whole life
It will be such a long journey for me to feel and heal
And no time to pity

Such a bittersweet memories we had,
Such a love story that brought us to our knees, that's what we had
I know I have to be ready to be in this state
The longing feeling since the day you left
And if I die, only you know why

But let me tell you one thing, my dear
I'll always love you no matter what
I'll always be there for you, as long as I'm alive
So that you know where to go when you feel lost
Here's your home, and will keep you safe and sound
Even though I know, you might choose another way to go,
But I'd stand still, waiting for you until I'm finally fine... 

FFF

(Dec 28th 2023)