those everlasting memories.

a

they used to be my love, my hope, and now

they're my everlasting memories.

One, we met at the school yard

which turns out he was my classmate

he was tall and good at sport

he was my first, but happened to be only a joke when

he left me for a girl I knew, while I need him the most

that was our first and last goodbye

Two, I was obsessed with him

like, over and over again

but always convince myself that I'll never ever, ever be with him

hence one day we talked about a game and school stuff

and the next day I found out that he was a friend's lover

I lost my hope upon him until one day...

he took me by the hand and I felt it again. We felt it.

that there was something we had, we're the same, and we're in love

he was the sweetest, cutest lover I've ever been with

and he was the first one ever to gave me a white bracelet

but then, we went through some ups and downs and finally

saying goodbye was the best thing for us.

three, we met accidentally through chats

I forced my eyes to be wide open, looking at my phone

only to reply him answers as soon as possible

a month later we met at the cinema

and that was the last time we met and even though it's hard to say goodbye..

I had to, so...

goodbye to you now.

four, he's the kind of someone that I'll always keep in my heart

so many stories we shared, the best or the worst ones

months and months were gone and I still stayed the same that

I've loved him from the start and seem to never gonna leave him someday

even though we're in a different place, now

we used to laughed and sang some songs from the radio

from 10 pm to 2 am, in his car, with our friends,

he was the first one that taught me how to love better,

he was the first one that taught me how to be stronger,

heaven knows where is my happiness, and it's all on him

I just sometimes kinda wish that we're gonna be together, forever

but that's just.. a dream which I never have in reality

he'll always be someone that has a place in my heart.

We never say goodbye until now and I'm glad for it.

five, we met at the bar club, the highest place in the town

we took few drinks and back to his flat

we shared stories and holding hands so tight that night

I never knew him before, was it about the drink that I took?

days and days were gone and I kept wishing he'll be there for me

one or two, he was there for me

just before we finally ended up things not very nicely,

but this memory will always be there for me.

six, this time is different. I fell in love with a stranger.

he was from the USA and I'm Indonesian.

he was nice that he bought me pair of shoes.

"it'll look good on you" that's what he said.

he said he loved me, but will never be able to see me

and he set me in a place where going back and forth didn't fit me.

he also said that someday he's gonna be a story to me,

and I'm gonna be a story to tell his wife and kids.

It was complicated, and finally we gave up the things we had. 
It was hard, but I had no other choices. I also needed to be happy.

seven, we met online and he's a British man.

he was cool, tall, and strong, but he talked a lot.

he was neat, a genius, and very, very brave man.

he once took me to a nice restaurant with a great view,

and Godness, that was the moment I'd been craving before.

I kinda forced him just to commit if he really wanted to be with me, prove it

but in the end, he's just the same. he's gone and probably didn't want to be with me.

I got disappointed, I got mad, I got sad, but...

we're still friends now.. and I don't wanna say goodbye to him.

eight, again, he's a friend and he lives far away from here

he's at where the hobbit lives

he's cute, and kind, and such a clever kid.

he's younger than me, but understands me a lot.

he got issues, I got issues, and that's what's makes us the same.

I comfort him, so does he...

he's the bestest friend, after all..

because he never declare if he's gonna see me one day

but to stick to the reality we're living now.

nine, I met this guy at the work place.

at the first moment I met him, I knew this's gonna be different.

he's kind, so careful, and away different from Dad.

he speaks softly, listen carefully, he's like the one that I want.

and through the ups and downs we have, I finally decided that

I chose him over him, or him, or him, or the other him,

because I see the truth from his eyes, the purest feelings I've ever known.

it's not that bad to say I should love him, because I do..

I do love him forever, and ever....

they're all just...

dreams that I never meet in reality.

FFF

(May, 30th 2020)