broken.

It's 4 AM and I'm still wide awake

Trying to breathe so deep and feeling alive

I was so stupid to ever let you come in and 

wish you're here, 

You're my guilty pleasure, my endless pain

Even I have no idea why

Should've known from the start

I ain't what you wanted, I ain't what you needed

But I gave you what you wanted, what you needed

Until there wasn't anything left, 

You came in and broke this perfect girl

Now feel free to give me your pride, you win it

Now I'm lying here with you on my mind, and you win it

Smile's just smile and I'm faking it,

I feel okay, but I refuse to feel it

and now I know what to do for it

I know I should've let go

Let it burn till I feel better

Was it all what we were? 

We were in love, back then

My heart was all yours, but you gave me nothing

And I'm sick and tired of giving you more, everyday

Don't know why I was so dumb to let you in,

But now you win, you got it all

And I hope you're happy wherever you are

Can I just drown myself awhile? 

Till I feel clean, fresh, and ready to love again?

Can I just skip the time when you told me you love me?

That gives me a lot to remember about, you know that?

But if I tell you now that I love you, would that change a thing?

I can't stop thinking, once I do, it's all coming like an avalanche

Even though I know, all that I got is just hurt, deeply bruised, 

But would you even care? 

I think you wouldn't, because that what you'll always be.

So please, just this time, 

I'm begging you to miss me, 

Just trying to miss me, for this time

Before I'm going out so far away...

FFF

(May, 31 2017)