we're (not) trying

How can I be with someone I dislike at the same room?

When it's hot, it's steamy 

When it's cold, it's gloomy 

I don't like the way I have to put up with 

And hate the fact that I have to knuckle under that ego 'till death do us apart

It sounds bleak than it's supposed to be

It's almost the fifth year, but I feel like forever 

Wanna hold those hands but that don't matter

No thing's so fun, bed's getting dry

We're so clueless trying to fill up that loneliness 

And I hate it when I'm lonely 

I'm just gonna sit here and wonder about nothing 

Cz my tongue's dead, and I rather die 

I'm sorry, I just need someone to talk to, 

Don't you understand that?

I'm sorry, maybe I'm not the one you wished to spend your life with, 

And I'm sick and tired trying to understand you 

About that demeanor that won't ruin my armor anymore 

Everybody got their goodness or something 

I just can't match with you, even though I keep trying to 

But life's about carry on and dance till we get numb

I just won't spend my time lingering around yours 

You should've known that 

Now we're in the middle of some desert

Just a couple in their dying time

Save all your reasons, that sound like blah blah blah to me

I won't fall to that trap again

I've known you long, and you've fooled me longer

If only I listened to myself better, I wouldn't feel bitter 

And now that this's killing me, 

Can I just be gone even for a while?

For my mama, I'm sorry I can't be stronger than you thought I'd be 

And for my dad, I'm sorry that I still cry like a child when I'm alone 

I was better yesterday, I got sicker and sicker day by day 

   to wait for that sunshine, to get rid all my worries at no time...

FFF

May, 3rd 2024