fuck feelings.

I've never felt this bored in my entire life

Found a runaway, fell in love with him when I shouldn't

I don't even know who am I anymore 

Don't know if I keep pretending to make everything seems ok

I know that may hurt me,

But this is the decision I made 

I was young and too dumb to never think about things twice

I want to regret it, I just hate it

It feels like I'm somewhere else

My mind, my heart and my body, yeah they don't synchronize

Guess I was just hypnotized

Or just get traumatized 

for the feelings of being in love again.

I ask myself too many questions about how I really feel

The answer stay the same, that I don't know what I feel

It's been dark days lately, all my hopes starting to crumble down

I wonder why, why shouldn't I at least feel something,

   when I have everything in my life...

My lover, he's fine as heck

My ex, I bet he's with somebody new

Funny thing is, I still think about him sometimes 

Even though it's been months since the day he left

But what's there inside my brain, it won't go fast 

I think I should start to burn the whole things

Because I know, they're just some memories, beautiful memories

But before, let me cry this out to make a clean state 

All that I feel is just nothing

Damn it, I need to feel something

I don't feel any love, or some good fucking till the
morning come

This road is too rough, too many stumbles upon my feet 

I wish I could just disappear and be with the wind just to forget things

So that I don't have to be here, facing my own fears everyday 

My head is running wild every time I picture him there 

My heart is burning, my soul is sickening every time I try to block him from my life 

With him, I can feel things 

With him, I know how's my heart is burning 

The touch of my sad, empty life 

It just went away

With him, I know how it's like to get my heart broken

and With him, I know how it's like to cry silently feeling happy and sad, at the same time

I wish, it's just him instead...

FFF

August, 22nd 2023