I hope everything will be fine.
Hi, it's been such a long time for me to not to write things about myself. I mean, I do write, even though I only write some lyrics with unknown music. Funny, isn't it? I write song lyrics, but never bother to find the music key. Well, I'm not good in playing music instrument, because if I do, I might win Grammy and kick Taylor Swift from the list.
Okay, L.O.L.
So my activity has been good lately. I wake up at 8 (mostly), I watch tv shows (Riverdale is still on going), and probably going to catch another cool tv shows. I think I'm in love with Netflix tv shows, lately. There are 13 Reasons Why, Riverdale, Orange Is The New Black, and so on. I just can't wait to watch the show as how I waste my time doing nothing at home. And by watching the show, I think I get many lessons for life.
Okay, I think there isn't much anything for me to say, just.. I'm so grateful that I'm back to the old me. The old me, with the newest way to think, of course. I sit in cafe(s) with my laptop which in the research of some scholarship I might try for my postgraduate program. I don't bother that everyone are just looking at me in this some kind of strange way that I sit alone. Well, that's not a big problem, after all. I was born alone, I'll die alone, I work my ass off alone, I'm doing this for me. I'm glad that I could be like this after the storm came and hit me off like I was some decompose leaves.
At first, it's never be easy to move on. Move onto something new. I never say yes to that thing, actually. But then I realize that I have a lot to do and by that I mean I should go back to stand and see the whole thing with my perspectives. Okay, I loved him, so what? If I keep hanging around like pretending he's still there and care to me, I won't be like this. Maybe I'd be still stuck walking in the same path. But then I erased everything, just everything, about him, us, and believe that whatever is that, he lost me while I'm going to gain someone new. I know it's hard to do at first, but when you finally realize that he's not the only one, holy golly, you'll move on eventually.
And how I could get all my pieces back together in life--I constantly think that I'm doing whatever is that for me. I do workout and it's for me. I get sweaty and feel so healthy (sexy is just the bonus for doing workout), and it's for me. I write song lyrics just to feel better, and it's for me. Much better, I pray like five times a day, and it's for me, between me, my beliefs, and my God. I'm doing whatever I can so that I can be happy and less hectic.
I believe that whatever it is that I'm doing, there will be just a lot of people who'd likely to judge. So now I'm aksing you, am I being judged? Well, good luck. You'll find it hard to believe that I will never care to what people think about me. I'm good to follow my own path (finally) and do good to people. I might gain something good either. I'm not trying to be heartless, but I'm just going to use my heart less.
The lesson is, world would be okay if we don't care, but do good with people. Show your true colors even some people don't like it. But it's not about them, it's about you. Again, you are doing whatever you do FOR you, not anyone else. So stick to my last word; be grateful, be good, do good, and use your heart less (so you won't get it broken easily).
x,
F.
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