For the moment that I can’t erase.
Whatever is on my mind,
is something I still can't understand.
I have him in my life,
and life is easier.
Maybe that's what makes it even scarier.
Then, this happens again.
Years have passed,
and I thought we lost it
Too bad--
I still have that one thing for you,
a feeling that I can’t control,
even though I’m good at self-control.
Must you come back and ruin,
to make me feel that way again?
I guess I’m just chasing
something that was never real.
Every time I try to remind myself
how rough it was,
“Yeah right, maybe next time”
But something hits me so deeply,
As if I don’t want to lose this moment.
I know exactly where this will lead.
You only come around when it suits you,
and I guess I know where I stand.
Years ago,
maybe it was easy for you
You left me with those cursing words
Crying-
that’s what I did for most of night
Hidden emotions,
Unspoken resentment,
all quietly growing.
Then after some time,
I realized.
I burned all the books
and thought I was a fool.
You never even knew
how much it all meant to me.
For you,
It was probably nothing.
For me?
It was everything.
In the end, my dear,
The lessons were learned.
I should’ve known from the start.
You always come back
when you need me
It always begins
with a little imagination,
a little hope.
But desperation
always finds its way to the end.
And somehow,
I kept convincing myself
that you could be better.
"Friends with benefits"--
as what they call.
An ugly truth
I have no choice but to accept
So painful to remember
Because sometimes,
I need to fall
just to know
where I stand.
FFF
May, 29th 2026
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