It was eight o'clock,
And the night was still young.
I waited nearly an hour,
Half asleep on a store bench,
Yet my heart was light enough
To mistake longing for destiny.
I wore my very best
Just to be noticed by you.
Back then,
Everything felt beautiful.
By two in the morning,
We were drifting through empty streets,
Tipsy on laughter,
With nowhere left to go.
So I asked,
"Should we find a room?"
And you said yes.
The first time I ever spent a night
With someone who had once been a stranger.
A face from the office,
A name I barely knew,
Yet somehow you already felt familiar.
The room was dim.
The city disappeared.
You kissed me
Like you were afraid of losing time.
And even now,
Years later,
I can still remember your breath.
I should have known
How quickly warmth can leave a home.
Maybe I was always meant
to be alone.
My heart stands in an empty aisle,
Unsure of what to choose,
Unsure of what it needs.
But somewhere between
The rings and the vows,
The promises and expectations,
Something inside me
Began to die.
I spent years
Trying to become
Who I thought you wanted.
Years learning how to shrink,
How to bend,
How to apologize
For taking up space.
Now I feel fucking foolish
For never asking
What I wanted for myself.
And some days,
You make me hate the person
I've become.
We built a life together.
Or at least,
I thought we did.
But everything we figured out,
Every dream we carefully arranged,
Vanished in an instant.
We used to sleep inches apart,
Hands intertwined,
Breathing the same midnight air.
Now there's an ocean
Between our bodies.
I live inside a prison
With invisible walls.
A prison built
From silence,
Disappointment,
And things we never said.
Perhaps the angels look away
When they see me falling.
You don't seem to notice.
You're busy scrolling,
Lost in another glowing screen.
Go ahead.
Pretend I'm not here.
Some nights,
I do the same.
Tell me,
Should I be happy?
A lie remains a lie
No matter how gently it's spoken.
People say communication is the answer.
I used to believe that.
Now I think some hearts
Simply stop reaching
For one another.
And no amount of talking
Can save what no longer wishes
To be saved.
Sometimes I wish
I could return to the beginning.
To that bench.
To that night.
To the version of me
Who still believed love alone
Could keep two people together.
I would tell her
To choose herself first.
To listen more closely
To the doubts she buried.
Because every apology
That never came,
Every promise left unfinished,
Every crack ignored,
Eventually became
The house we live in now.
And still,
Resentment keeps growing
In the spaces between us.
Fed by every unsaid word.
I've prayed for peace,
But all I see
Is a circle of darkness,
Turning endlessly,
Pulling us deeper.
I trusted you
With every fragile part of me.
And when that trust broke,
It shattered more
Than just us.
Now I stand among the pieces,
Trying to remember
How to believe in people again.
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