a devil in disguise




I don't know if saying yes to you was the best decision I've ever made
I hate the way that I cry every night, in the silence 
You covered it up so well that's why I fell for you
Now that I know the real you, 
I wish I could turn back time and choose another way to go 

You're so unbelievable
Like a devil in disguise
You ain't my home, can't trust you anymore 
I hate to keep begging, or nagging so that we can work it out well
But you never listen, 
You just never listen
That hurts me, and that makes me want to die

For regretting... 

This is the house we built but this ain't my home 
I'm just a guest, somebody who'd give everything you need
"for rainy or sunny days, for happy or sad days" 
All those unsatisfied situations without a real action
And don't ask me for these growing resentment I have
Or maybe it's all my fault to always give more and more, 
   to expect more and more 
And when it's all too much, I must've fallen to the place I've never been
What a reckless behavior you have to burn a woman like me

It's ironically funny how I regret things 
Wanted to find someone unlike my father, I thought you're the one 
Sadly, you're worst 
Wanted you to grow and just understand 
You never tried to,
You just never tried to. 
And I'm sick and tired to be the one who understand to

Every morning, or just before I go to sleep 
We're getting apart more and more 
And people would still ask me about 
The other one that I fell so hard 
Till he woke up and he left me dry 
And I'll be living in this pain probably forever 
Can't push the feeling too far, or pull it back too deep 
Until maybe one day I surrender or just give up

Dear God, I don't know what else to do
I've cried my whole life, trying to be better in time
Give me the time, give me something so I can hold on
Happy face doesn't mean a happy life
It's always been easy to put on a pretend
But I'm so tired of crying in silence, feeling so worthless and a burden to everyone around me 
Help me, just help me... 
I'd rather die than I have to live like this
Cz this ain't what I thought I would get
This is all just too much.. 




FFF
April, 28th 2024

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