I feel so cold, my feet turns cold
I usually search for something to keep me warm
Now that I lost it, I push away things that may get close to me
I sabotage myself too much with the endless destructive manner
Hoping to be dead or just disappear
But I guess, it's just the way to escape my pain
It's funny how a heart-break would change you in a person.
I don't show my feelings now
I'm so hard to open up myself for a change
Have been stuck there, feeling so empty and lonely in most of my time
Even though they say I have everything they want
It's not about that, it's about my mind and heart that won't get along
And I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of it.
Sometimes I get tired to always pretend like...
He's you, he's you and he's you
But he ain't you, he ain't you, and he ain't you
When he touches me,
When he kisses me goodnight,
When he comfort me,
He ain't you, and is it bad if I want you instead?
Used to have those days where everything's fine between us
February 2023, you met some girls in a bar
I couldn't stand it, just wishing I could be one of those girls that got to see you
I bet you smelled nice, you looked good, you looked fine with all that indecisive mind
And I was the one who was cheating
Two-hearts at one
Couldn't decide which one
Until I lost my only one
Now they're all gone
And I'm left with those memories
Memories that haunt me, again and again
Two worlds once collided, swearing up and down to never leave
But I still have those pieces that I can't replace
Maybe, it's all about the loneliness that kills me.
I lost all my powers, self-control, staying awake with this poisonous thoughts
This is the downfall, this is the unlucky love,
I don't know where to start again
I lost someone I was truly in love with
And I don't know where to begin again
My heart's crying, my head's denying
That's just how my life has been without you here
So, tell me what to do without you, please?
Just tell me what to do...
FFF
Feb. 6th 2024
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