a glimpse of the old ghost

It was almost midnight

11 pm, as I remember

I was about to sleep then a text was coming
"hi, how are you?"
I knew it, at some other sides
You're so hopeless to find what you've been looking for
But you got me, always, you got me

While it's been some rough days for me
The drought season was never ended until you came and kept it flourished
I was fine as hell until you told me
   that you can't get enough of me, or my body and that thrilled me,
I got goosebumps while thinking about it still

It was all fun and games, and endless pleasure for both of us
Hoping that we could love all day
Hoping that we could be like that, every fucking day
Now it's a shame that they're all remain as memories

My anxiety rises as high as my hope

Head and heart won't be at the same line 
And that's killing me inside, honestly

I'm just wondering now
If you ever think of me the way you used to be
I know you're a long gone, but somehow
I still keep that space for you just in case you'll come back one day
I must've been blinded by love
I must've been a fool for a long time
Until I realize that maybe you won't come back,

Afraid to say that you're gone forever

Day by day had gone but
One thing that I know now
I gotta wakeup and open my eyes
To accept all those things, the longing feelings and the lost
So tonight I might stay awake and probably keep telling myself that everything's gonna be fine,
I'm gonna be fine without you by my side

FFF

Jan, 11th 2022