Have you ever felt like you really want to win something but you do not have any courage to afford it?
I have.
Lately, I have been busy on doing some great project in my campus. Actually it was holiday, though. But I thought holiday was boring and I started to search some info about student exchange program. It took about several hours for me to finally decide whether I should take the risks by following or taking scholarship or no. And finally, in the name of God while saying bismillah, I swore myself to join in this scholarship.
I was on my facebook and seeing one of my senior lecturers online, I asked her for my recommendation later. She said "yes, sure, I am willing to help" and I just thought, "well, this must be great. One way handled." Actually I was not so sure about taking this scholarship seriously. The requirement of TOEFL Test score must be at least 500 but mine was 480 at the last time I took test. I was terrified. But another way, I asked my host lecturer to help me making another recommendation later. He agreed, and again, I just thought "Well, one requirement has already finished."
At
first, I thought the requirements were easy for me. But, after I tried to
fulfill them all, I started to lose my willingness on it. The TOEFL score, the
translated transcript, the difficulties when I filled the online application,
the four essay requirements and another thing that makes me stop fighting for
the scholarship. I was lost, I did not know what to do. But one of my close
lecturer filled me up and I felt better. I tried my best to write the essay
requirement while my lecturer gave me her eyes on it.
After I completed the online application, I tried to submit the rest of requirements but I got difficulties doing it. Firstly, I have not finished my essays. To me, it was like.. when I think I really need inspiration to make a very good essay, I cannot do it. But when I do not really need the inspiration, I got lots of inspiration. That sucks somehow. Secondly, I have not got my translated transcript from my lecturer. Thirdly, I have not scanned all of my files so it can be uploaded. Those things makes me sick and drown me in such a pity.
But in the deadline time, I really really tried my best to afford the whole requirements. I asked one of my roommate to help me doing my essay and she helped me. I scanned all of my data to be uploaded. I ran here and there to ask the Dean to sign up my real transcript. I did it all in less than six hours.
The pressure was still high, so I was like still remember about my struggling time applying for this scholarship. I have not told my parents about this, just because I am planning to tell them if only I win this competition. I was tired, honestly. My mind and my thoughts were tired and kinda sick. But again, every struggle never leave us pain, it gain us from unknown to become knowable. I believe that everything will leave me a very good sign to step to another way.
This is about my journey, how about you? Have you made one?
- farrah
0 Komentar