Heartless

   How could you be so heartless? You come easily to me, we made friends, and finally you can take me, tak the very best of me. All this time I've been wondering if there're a lot of things happened between us. I mean, I've changed and so he did. We've changed. I believe, that everyone changes, and heart move on. Well actually I'm just afraid if I'm loosing him again. I never loosing him like we're break up or something, but I'm just keep hoping that he would change like he used to, because I miss that.

   So many story to be told here. I woke up in the morning, these days, I'm feeling sick. Sick of.. I don't know. It's a confusion maybe. A feeling I shouldn't feel, but it keeps going in my brain. I don't know how to handle it anymore. Sometimes when I feel sad, I just couldn't shut the hell up. It's like I need to tell someone, anyone who'll listen and there's where I seems to fucked up. I don't know why. I think, if we're getting this challenging, we should be ready for it. Honestly, I can't be ready. No matter how bad I am. I always try to keep this things up. It's useless. I can't resist if it's always happen between us.

   Mostly, at the first, a girl is always acted careless if they're knowing that the boy is about to catch them up. But when the boys start to leave, all of those girls seems like they're priceless for begging him, that they love him or maybe... 'I'm asking you to kiss me'. How priceless! Maybe that's happen to me right now. it's because I just want to know, how big is his feeling to me before we step to next level. It seems so fade, I know. Because in the end, there's always be a regret. Always, we can't erase it. It's a karma we should face for.

   All this time I was wondering, am I good for him? am I too selfish for him? am I too agressive or posessive, or love him? Is this love? I don't know. Sometimes I feel things are going right when we're talking like we don't know time. But sometimes when he blew me off , I feel like there's even nothing good. It sick. It's a heartchache. It's a lovesick. But let him know that I'm trying to be the best for him. Maybe it's all the best from him. But I only want the best from him, cause if he's not we're stuck. Stuck into the darkness. A place where we can't see eachothers, and then when there's someone that could bring us out of the light, we should thank them. We call it as a moving on. Moving on isn't always easy as it's mentioned. It's hard. If I remember our sweet moments, I just wanna cry and fuck you up. And cursing you up.

  We're all born to make a change. We're all born to make some noisy. Sometimes it feels so priceless if I said "I love you", in fact, I am. I love him more than everything he knows. He loves me from the start, and right now I love him, really.. REALLY!! If you tear my heart into a pieces, you'll see your name there. Even if I'm die, I'll be on your side forever.